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| I am learning to make hearts in my lattes. You haven't lived until you try it. |
My parents were big fans of coffee. My father drank a cup of Joe every morning before he went to work, though the coffee brands he and my mother drank were thin and cheap generic store brands that pale in comparison to the coffees now available in stores, and the plethora of drive through coffee stands that have become commonplace in every city in America, if not the world.
My parents liked freeze dried Sanka. It was perfect for camping trips. No camping trips were complete without the adults holding cups of coffee in their hands as they sat around the camp fires. Every one of my parent's friends were coffee drinkers. And many were smokers. I always equated smoking with drinking coffee, which is why, until fifteen years ago, I hadn't had much interest in coffee. When I was a kid, coffee ads were regularly aired on the TV. The first one I recall was shown on the Lucille Ball show. Desi and Lucy were gaga for Sanka, and money was greasing the track of their endorsement. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOSIcmk27rM&NR=1&feature=endscreen
Freeze drying was the hip thing in the 1960s. This was when Tang, the powdered orange drink, was in everybody's kitchens, right next to the box of Wheaties. If it was good enough for the astronauts, it was good enough for me! At that time, Tang was mostly sugar and fake orange flavor. In 2007, Kraft Foods replaced half the sugar with really awful sugar replacements, like sucralose, acesulfame potassium, and neotame. They used to use some truly horrible things to decaffeinate coffee beans, such as benzene, chloroform, and trichloroethylene (TCE).Dichloromethane, and CH2Cl2, most of which of have been shown to be carcinogenic. Which means that Sanka and Maxwell House and other "decaffeinated" coffees had some pretty nasty stuff in them. Coffee is predominantly decaffeinated with more benign things now, like hot water, and the fluid version of CO2. In the future there may be no need for decaffeinated coffee. In 2003 the caffeine "switch" was found in tea and coffee plants, so now it is a matter of simply turning off the switch so the plants don't make caffeine. Can you spell GMO, people? One day they will turn off or turn on the switches in you or your children to make them office workers or to grow bigger boobs or other enhancements. I hope the caffeine has killed me by then.
There have been many lawsuits against cigarette companies, but there should have been a few against coffee companies, and other food companies, who knew darn well the ingredients and the solvents they were using were toxic to human beings. The American public still thought corporations cared about them back them, thanks to advertising which used trusted spokespeople to sell products. Even the Andy of Mayberry show had endorsements for Sanka that were precursors to infomercials. Did Sheriff Andy Taylor know he was selling cancerous coffee crystals? No. Neither did Opie, or Aunt Bee, who were so wholesome they could sell radioactive waste as if it were a natural part of a nutritious breakfast. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxbcQ6lV00s&feature=related Even Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble advertised Winston cigarettes. The viewing audiences were naive, and the products were lousy and cheap. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYvOgnabABU
Coffee companies quickly used TV advertising successfully, just as cigarette, liquor, and a lot of other companies had for many years. When I think of the 1960s I cannot get the slogans out of my head. Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is! Ad men at this time in history were enjoying the golden era of writing pithy sales copy for everything. The coffee brands had memorable slogans, and many had distinctive music tracks to support their brands. The brands aligned themselves with TV shows and personalities, such as Danny Thomas and Dick Van Dyke. Maxwell House had a memorable perky music track that sounded like coffee being brewed. The music alone could have sold their coffee. In the 1980s, Maxwell House hired Ricardo Montalban to endorse it, and Montalban went on to sell a half dozen other products, including rich Corinthian leather. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxbcQ6lV00s&feature=related
I had never tasted more than a half cup of coffee before I turned eighteen, though my siblings and I occasionally mixed coffee with on our vanilla ice cream. We didn't know this was like a latte. I had my first cup of coffee in Europe in 1973. I was hitch hiking in Italy after my high school graduation, when a man in a small red Italian car gave me a lift. In the back seat of the car there was a green parrot in a tall wooden cage. The cage jostled back and forth as the driver, a fifty-something year old man who sported a pencil thin mustache and an odd hat, steered the tiny car through the curvy streets of Bologna. He spoke little English, and I spoke no Italian, but he said we had to stop for an espresso. It was early afternoon, and easily ninety degrees that day. I had heard of espresso, but I'd never tried it. We stopped at a small cafe and he bought me an espresso that came in a tiny white china cup, which sat on an equally tiny saucer. The espresso was thick, greasy, and sweet. It was nice, and a great introduction to freshly brewed quality coffee. And I was wired for hours.
My father drank coffee every morning for as long as I can remember, and mom filled his metal thermos with coffee to wash down his bologna sandwiches and chips. He was perked up most of the day, which was what an auto body repair shop owner needed to get the work done. Drinking coffee was a tradition that my parents practiced into old age. Naturally, with this indoctrination, I married a woman who was enamored with coffee. She had an flame red espresso machine that made truly terrifying sounds as it got going. She was skilled in the workings of the machine's knobs and buttons, and assured me it would not explode and embed shrapnel into the walls and our bodies. I did not know coffee's health benefits at that time, for if I had I would have been on the cutting edge in the 1990s when a lot of forward thinking entrepreneurs got into the coffee drive through business in the little college town where we lived.
I am dating a woman who owns three coffee stands. So when I think of coffee, I think of relationships. Nothing gets people in a talkative, sociable mood like a good cup of coffee. I'm not immune to its caffeine, and I'm not good at measuring how many scoops to put in my French press. I was jittery for most of yesterday morning due to bad measuring. I never cared for the generic coffees, but I'm a big fan of organic coffees. My prostate is too. I'm drinking several cups of coffee per week to help that old organ. I like my coffee thick and creamy, like the espresso I had in Italy years ago. I've even begun dabbling in making designs in my lattes. I'm not sure I'll drink my creations, but I'll certainly photograph them.
The health benefits of coffee have been confirmed by modern science. I like the idea of a drink that can save me from getting prostate cancer. I want to live to be 100, and coffee seems to be the ticket. But it also raises blood pressure, so it may be the drink that ultimately kills me. They will find me slumped over a keyboard, a latte on the table beside me. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43065205/ns/health-cancer/t/swilling-coffee-may-protect-men-against-prostate-cancer/#.T0pOl2WbWHI
Too much caffeine isn't so great for pregnant women either. Researchers from California's Kaiser Permanente Division of Research report that women who consumed 200 mg or more of caffeine per day (about two cups of coffee), doubled their miscarriage risk. But on the other hand, it helps the cognitive powers of women over 65 , eases constipation, stops eye spasms, and makes you sexier. Well, I made up that last one. Too much of anything is not good, and coffee is no exception. Too much of it can decrease bone density. So if you're a woman your brain will be firing on all cylinders from the caffeine in the coffee, but you'll have bones as brittle as a sparrow's. Your teeth, or your dentures, will turn the color of yellowed wallpaper, but you'll be a stellar Scrabble player.
So drink up you old men, save your prostate . My brew is ready now. Mmm, and it's good to the last drop. I'll have a second cup! Here are some video links about how to make swirly art with your coffee, darling. Make mine with lots of milk and sugar, baby. If I'm gonna go, I want to go with a smile on my face.
How to make a heart in your coffee:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY2nncqKGjQ&feature=related
How to make many shapes with chocolate syrup:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDZs__m5iAI
How to pour the milk like a pro.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=si-wsNVh7qI&feature=related
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