Living happily and drama-free.

    

The front of my Nissan Pathfinder after the accident in Mississippi in 2021.

The past two and a half years has been taken up with the arduous process of settling an auto accident claim using an out of state lawyer. 

My accident happened in the worst conditions. It was just before the snopocalypse that paralyzed America and made Texas a land without good gasoline. Normally, Siri can be trusted to give good directions, but sometimes it really gets it wrong. On my way back from Florida, as I entered Mobile, Alabama, a heavy rain began. A major snowstorm was forecast. Thus, when Siri directed me north into Mississippi, I listened. Fifty miles later, not far from Hattiesburg, on a wet highway, a young woman (who was texting), ran a red light and collided with my beloved low mileage Nissan Pathfinder. Our cars spun like inebriated dancers on the wet highway. In the collision I held onto the steering wheel so tightly it permanently bent the steering column. When the state troopers showed up it was a scene out of Smokey & The Bandit. The lead cop pointed to two unopened bottles of Pellegrino water and said, "You been drinking, boy?" I replied, "No sir, those are Italian mineral water bottles and one cracked my dashboard and the other hit me in the head." The other driver replied, (briefly looking up from texting while sitting at the wheel of her late model Toyota SR5), when I asked her what he problem was, "I didn't see you!" It was madness, and I was injured. The hospital was a zoo. A line of injured people stood in a hallway waiting to be evaluated. No doctor examined me. I received too many x-rays. A woman appeared with a handwritten note to help me find my vehicle. A week later I began to recover. I had brain fog from a concussion. I learned my Nissan had been towed fifty miles away, to a redneck town in Mississippi. It was the script from a drama set in the South.

Unfortunately, I could not hire a law firm in California because the law requires being represented by a firm in the state where the accident occurred, which in this case is Mississippi. Thus, there was a slew of medical appointments and the usual three ring circus that ensues when lawyers and insurance companies try to work together. But I am happy to report I received the lion's share of the settlement last week after mitigation. The remainder is being held in trust until the liens are sorted out. I won't go into the detail of the case because I'd rather not think about it. It's the same reason I refuse to go to carnivals. The clowns give me nightmares. It could be a made for TV movie. When the money was agreed upon a group of criminals in Las Vegas impersonated the Veterans Administration and tried to extort monies from the settlement. This is the kind of world we live in. You cannot make this stuff up. You can never be too careful or too thankful.

I have not written on this blog for a long time. I have been writing a fair about of fiction, and honestly have spent a great deal of time watching movies and reading books. I guess I have been checking out of reality because my reality wasn't that pleasant. The other thing that took up a lot of my time was the daily texting, emails, and phone calls from a woman in Pasadena who was convinced I was her soulmate. I won't share many details about that because there's no point. But I broke off that relationship a month ago. I walked the tightrope of trying to not hurt her feelings when I said goodbye. We're theoretically still friends. I am not a cruel person, but this lady had way too much drama going on. For example, her sister in Santa Barbara is an extreme hoarder, and incapable of making decisions. She insists in taking charge of everything to do with money. The sisters butt heads every time they interact about anything. For the past six years they have been fighting over how and when to sell their parent's house. Somehow they managed to agree to sell their grandparent's house, so maybe all hope isn't lost. In summary, I ran screaming into the woods with my clothes on fire. I wish families did not have drama, but they do. In their case it is  as simple as one sister not getting along with her sister. The sister who pursued me had way too much going on in her life besides the drama of selling her parent's house in trendy West L.A. She has physical things I can't get over. She walks with a strange canter due to a curved spine, and has a missing tooth on one side of her smile. Why not fix it? She led me to believe the missing tooth was a new thing, but it has been like that for six years. She is rich and can afford to fix it, not because of having worked all her life, but because she has lived on trust money from her grandparents and parents for the past thirty years. I guess that makes me an idiot, being unwilling to marry a woman for her money, but I have an old fashioned idea that you don't marry someone for their money. You marry them because you are crazy in love with them. Thank god this woman and I never slept together. I told her I wanted to remain mostly platonic. Normally, that would cool the jets of most people, but she was not easily put off.

 
At a wildflower location in 2023.

That woman's family issues are not that unusual. Most families are screwed up. Take for example, my brother Neil and his recent battle with esophageal cancer. Was I told in a timely manner about it? No, of course not. Is he fighting a losing battle with cancer? I expect so. He will be my second sibling to die of cancer. My eldest brother, Paul, died of three types of cancer ten years ago. The two brothers had smoking in common. I am thankful I have never had an interest in smoking. I also have an older sister and brother who smoked for decades. Thus, I expect they will eventually get cancer. Strangely, not every long term smoker gets cancer. I learned of Neil's cancer from my son, who learned of it from my daughter, who lives in Paris with her French husband. I was kept out of the loop. It made me paranoid. I guess I shouldn't have cared. Neil was never friendly. For example, when I was eleven he slapped me in the face for no good reason. You don't forget things like that. Years later I was gifted with eighty-one acres of land in southwest Utah. I was naive and shared the good news with my siblings. None congratulated me. Neil's response was to tell me to sell it because it was worthless land. He pronounced his opinion without knowing anything about the land. Being cynical is the way of my family. We have a talent for judging people. I will probably mail Neil a get well card, but I don't think he will believe that I didn't know about his cancer. So maybe it will be a waste of energy and a stamp. I won't attend his funeral because nowadays I avoid any social situation that will make me uncomfortable. You only have so many hours and breaths left on this planet, so use your time wisely. And since my accident I have been without a car. I don't want to be around my family because they make me unhappy. I need to avoid unhappiness.

Maybe you are like me, or maybe you are the opposite of me. I suspect all families have problems. I know a 40-something woman in Omaha, Nebraska who has family issues. The main problem is she was her grandfather's favorite. The controversy began when he decided to change his will and give her everything. Like, millions of dollars.  Her mom tried to have her father declared incompetent, and the will voided. It's a mess. She has a sister who hates her for getting the money. Before this will debacle they got along fine. I wish these sorts of dramas weren't commonplace. Every single person I know has drama going on in their lives. My goal is to live drama free. If you don't take chances, the odds of something bad happening go down. If I ever consider getting in another relationship, I will have a list of maybe ten questions. I guess I could call it the Drama Free Relationship Form.

I still buy lottery tickets, but never excessively. I aspire to have more happiness in my life. I still pray, though I'm not sure it does much to change anything. Remarkably, I have managed to live my life the last year without a vehicle. I paid for shuttles, and a couple has lent me their vehicle a few times. You can survive without a car. It's not easy if you are in pain, but it can be done. It has required me to walk almost a mile to the nearest store. The post office is two miles away. I might be training for being a marathoner. I view it as part of my physical recovery. Every morning I do an exercise routine that involves thirty sit-ups, twenty pushups, repetitions with barbells, and freeform dancing to music. I think it's helped me. But some things aren't right. I have a cyst on my left kidney, a Schmorl's Node on my spine, a few bulging disks, occasional numbness on my left foot and left hand. These things are to be expected after an auto accident. You get used to pain. And if the pain is too much I hook myself up to my MedicPad device for a hour or two or six. It's like a ten-step device physical therapists use. I bought it in 2016 at a Gem Faire in Santa Barbara. It came with socks, flip-flops, and other accessories crafted to electrically stimulate nerves. I normally don't tell people about my personal life. I tuck that info into my screenplays, novels, and short stories. My daughter says I should write a memoir. Maybe I will eventually. Maybe I won't. If doing it makes me unhappy, I will avoid it. I don't have any time left for unhappiness.